a long sigh

finally... i'm done with my cases... and soon, i will be done and over with my college life... which, i may say is cool and memorable... except for some really annoying moments.... because of some really annoying people.

im really proud on the other hand bacause despite d many ugly things people are doin to me, i still have d want to do good things... and im happy for my good deeds today!

yehey...

i have no tym for this.
just wanna say to the world that i am happy... =)

dried up

im afraid im saying this because this is exactly how i feel...

i think i'm drying up...

there.

and its all i can write about.

my brain is too dried up to think.

questions..

In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
do you mean formal girlfriend-boyfriend relationship? or does M.U count? heheh

What made you smile today?
change the question to: what will make me smile today... sed... were meeting up and going out... he'll be here in less than an hour... then i'd be smiling. =) even the thought of seeing him makes me smile already...

What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
cheking out pix of friends in friendster.... been on line for almost an hour.

Something that happened to you in 1985?
perhaps, i was struggling to break free from my cord coil when i was delivered via NSVD... i blame my cord coil for my neck... hehe

Your prom night?
can you call nightingales night as prom night? i had a really horrible eye sty... (is the spelling right?hehe) i had to wear really heavy eye make-up to cover it up... my eyelid was so heavy..

In one sentence, explain what ended your last relationship:
we weren't serious.

Worst thing currently on television?
news probably... mostly are negatives... haven't really watched tv.

What was in the mail today?
haven't checked my mail either...

What is your favorite part of the day?
when we go home after school... the walk home... the talks... everything.

What makes you sad today?
there was something.... absence.

What can make you happy?
many simple things..

you call this a sem break?

it sure doesn't feel like it!!!!

phew!

• i took my last exam this morning... the summative one. it was such a head ache! i wasn't expecting anything great from my finals and summative exams... considering that i dozed off when i should have been studying
• but hey... i would be a liar if dont admit that i am happy to have passed my exams no matter the grade. but it wasnt jud any grade. hehehe. im feeling secure with my Nursing Research too.
• Now, don't get this negatively. im not boasting... just really happy.
• one more semester to go and im done. i cant wait.

some really annoying events.

• im just really pissed with the 40-item quiz that i took... and someone stupidly lost my paper, it didn't even reach my c.i's hands. argh!
• the computer cant read my memory stik! double argh!
• sedfrey's in bogo! triple argh!

anyway, im passing NCM 104. its good... jst not the best... but stil good.

this was last week

learning just now...

haha... i find it funny how i was trying to learn my way through this blog... it took me like... 2 hours to find out how to edit my links... but prior to that, i tried in futile attempts to put a tag board on my blog. i finally gave up and looked for other things to change...
nothing interesting with this blog... this is my nth blog... i have forgotten the others... either the account name or my password. so this is the latest.
i hope this one will be different.
journals and diaries, and in this case, blogs usually lost their purpose... in my case. for some reason, i still keep details to a minimal extent... i write in vague lines. Without meaning to. i guess i've out grown that habit of pouring my heart out... publicly. and so i have learned to keep some things to myself. know only what you need to know.
so does that defeat the purpose? not really.
anyway, im here to have fun... and who knows, id learn to bluntly open.
what happened today:

• done with my nursing research proposal... made it in two nights. proudly.
• now my problem is how to make my way through the statistics part. its a known fact that i totally suck with numbers. warlah mode in that part.
• my ncm grade decreased. argh! i so hate it.
• let me end this with something positive...
• i'm feeling better... the age of depression is about to end.

our bogo trip

this was last summer... when we had nothing to stress us out. Makes me wish its summer again. =)

so negative!

• im tired.
• i think im deteriorating in an abnormally fast pace...
• i am tired.
• i really am hungry...
• i dont know what i want to eat...
• i have so many stuff to do...
• i have'nt gone out for a long time and its getting boring.
• i need a life.
• i want to scream my head off in a singing spree...
• i want to indulge in vanity...
• ... it just that there not much to be vain about. hehehe
• im feeling quite unproductive...
• and terribly tired of all this negativity.

those times

can we have another of those days?
been busy... with skul and all..
i miss the jeepney rides...
soon.

missin days...

scanned through my friends' blogs just now. and a surge of emotions just took over me.

envy.

reading through their lives makes me realize that there are so many things ive missed. places they've been to, people they've met, things they've done... even the persons they have become... i guess i never get contented. i always want more.

all of a sudden, i take a hold of myself and shake it off.

i will have my chance.

soon.

think: i really should not envy friends. in fact, i am happy for them.

i miss them.

no body knows me like they do. no one can understand me better. with them, i am only "me" and nobody else.

and i miss them.

they help me stick it through... and they remind me who i truly am... the person i know and they know... not what other people say i am.

and so, the feeling that dominates is not envy anymore but more of the nostalgic reminiscence of so long ago days... when we were younger and we knew ourselves better than anybody else did.

i miss them.

even the vaugest memories make me mushy and all... so like the original me. so close to the true becca not everyone really knows.

it has started

hmp. it has started. i love june-july and i hate it too.
my list:
the CSSG student elections. stressor #1
the Editorial board screening . stressor #2
the EIC position. a stressor i should conquer.
the ASEAN Summit. a stressor to which i am looking forward to.
case completion. a stressor i cant escape.
passing my fourth year. a stressor i can get by. for sure.
the nursing board exams... a stressor i should overcome.
being human. a stressor to which i dont have an option.
grrr. i'm stuck.
sigh. willingly.

all over again...

blogging once again... here.