missin days...

scanned through my friends' blogs just now. and a surge of emotions just took over me.

envy.

reading through their lives makes me realize that there are so many things ive missed. places they've been to, people they've met, things they've done... even the persons they have become... i guess i never get contented. i always want more.

all of a sudden, i take a hold of myself and shake it off.

i will have my chance.

soon.

think: i really should not envy friends. in fact, i am happy for them.

i miss them.

no body knows me like they do. no one can understand me better. with them, i am only "me" and nobody else.

and i miss them.

they help me stick it through... and they remind me who i truly am... the person i know and they know... not what other people say i am.

and so, the feeling that dominates is not envy anymore but more of the nostalgic reminiscence of so long ago days... when we were younger and we knew ourselves better than anybody else did.

i miss them.

even the vaugest memories make me mushy and all... so like the original me. so close to the true becca not everyone really knows.